Inbox for rubilykskoye.

[killer]

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[princess_of_ida]

Sam Carpenter, I am the Deathwarden here. My duty is to prepare the deceased for Resurrection or their Final Death.

When you have something resembling a quiet moment, I am willing to speak on these matters in detail and answer questions. Tomorrow, not today.

[killer]

How do you know my name?

[princess_of_ida]

I briefly knew you in another life. It's unimportant now.

[killer]

What the fuck does that mean?

[princess_of_ida]

That means that in the past, a different version of you was here. I knew her. I know little beyond your name, that you have a sister you wish to return to, you smoke, and that you're very handy with a knife.

[killer]

That's news to me. That I was here before, not the other stuff. That part's... not inaccurate.

I also didn't know one of us worked so closely with the Duchess.

[princess_of_ida]

The previous you didn't make many friends. There may only be two aside from myself remaining that recall you. People disappear a lot here.

I was appointed to my position in November, taking over these specific duties to free up the Churchwarden to focus on more day-to-day affairs of the people. I take solace in my duty as Deathwarden. It is one of the few places I find any.

[killer]

[ That does sound like her. Even now, Sam wouldn't exactly say that she has made friends. Met people, sure. Managed to enjoy some mutual company. But friends is a stretch. ]

It's a badass title, I'll give you that much.

Do you want me to meet you somewhere or do I just wait for you to reach out tomorrow?

[princess_of_ida]

You contact me tomorrow when you have time. I rarely sleep.

SURPRISE

[galvanist]

So: I've heard this rumor about women and was hoping you could confirm or deny.

[killer]

Depends. What's the rumor?

[galvanist]

It’s this thing about liking to feel like someone is making more effort about them than they are their dick decoration? I thought that sounded pretty fake, but I’m nearly positive you’re a woman, so…

[killer]

Part of me wants to let you off the hook, because of course you're more interested in your own dick than some probable woman you've only met telepathically.

But another part of me really wants to tease you for thinking that women appreciating effort sounds fake.

[galvanist]

If I genuinely did think that I’d think your standards were appallingly low for even still talking to me.

Now, brace yourself, because this is going to sound like a line: I agree with you.

[killer]

Okay, I'm braced. So how is that not a line?

[galvanist]

[teasing, if only minimally spiky about it ]

For one, you clearly don’t know what I do for a living. For two: it’s demonstrably not a line if I back it up.

[galvanist]

For the record, I’m not more interested in my dick than you, but if someone’s given you the impression genital piercings are for decoration I feel worse for you than Jay-Z does that fellow with the girl problems.

What I am empirically disinterested in is getting my autonomy more fucked than it has been already; if you’re thinking of telling me to get used it, trust me. I am used to it. That in no way means I have to like it.

1/2

[killer]

Why would I know what you do for a living? I only know what you felt was important enough to tell half the people in town: your dick is pierced.

2/2

[killer]

We can circle back to that, maybe with a pop culture reference that isn't old enough to drink.

Nobody likes it, tall Valentine. I doubt you'll feel like one of us for a while, but the one thing you're not is alone.

sans the last sentence this is just one long string of deadpan + I'm combining these again fffff

[galvanist]

I'm 43, Roosh. And I live underground on purpose. My references can run for president. You're not getting anything more current from me unless you personally introduce it.

You might be surprised by how I feel, in fact, but that's less telepathy than second time seeing each other material. Not that I would ever accuse you personally of doing anything so prosaic. Out of everything else I appreciate the solidarity, but I've never been a conformist.

It's cute that you still think that's what I was telling "half the town."

[killer]

That does explain why the nickname went over my head. But you're not calling me that. It's Sam.

I'm not talking about conforming. I just mean that most of the Void-Touched can relate to what you're feeling, but we've had time for everything to sink in.

Feel free to enlighten me. Your true meaning might've been overshadowed by all the stuff about your dick... accessories. Is that more appropriate?

[galvanist]

That does suit you better.

Actually, why don’t you enlighten me, Sam? This is at least the fourth time you’ve informed me of my apparent obsession with my own cock, so you must be able to tell me lots and lots about it. Such as literally anything beyond the fact that it’s pierced in multiple places. I’d even settle for being regaled with details about said piercings. Anything? Aside from how they were in my dick.

[killer]

[ He's not wrong — that is the only detail she can cite. Time for the classic rile-him-up-to-distract-him tactic. ]

Wow, you're just dying to show it to me, aren't you?

[galvanist]

Yes. Yes I am. But only if you let me spank you and pull your hair.

[ everyday better pan (: ]

Now that we’re on a less stupid first name basis what I do for a living is own a sex club, and I’m too much of a control freak to let anyone else handle the day to day, so in the beginning it was get good to have an edge, now it’s stay good because I like to fuck. Most of our clientele are human women, and most of them are there because they’re dating or married to men who genuinely believe only this tiny pathetic subsection - the cuck one - of their peers like to eat pussy. Among other things that disappoint but don’t surprise me.

[killer]

Hm. More of a cover letter than a resume but as cover letters go, persuasive enough.

Now, you said you could demonstrably back it up. That implies a demonstration, doesn't it?